And I'm Tired Of All That Is
by CassandraChristine
Summary: F!Hawke/Fenris  Who doesn't have a character place, or did I miss something?  Anyway, End scene after fall of Kirk-y. Weird and amibigous  sp?  Read if you like.


**So...I post something Fanfiction after so a god awful long absence, and it's not Naruto or Eyeshield...It's Dragon Age! Whoa, Tata would kill me. **

**Right, um...It's not my first Dragon story, by far, but it is the first I've posted, which is exciting ! And it's Dragon Age 2! Even better...or worse, depending on your preference!**

**Mild spoiler warnings, nothing too descriptive, though. At the end of the game, my Hawke in an romance with Fenris, which I have never finished, so if I get anything wrong, which I don't think I can since the ending is so vague, just ignore it, kay? ;)**

**This a birthday present to myself XD. Woohoo the big 18! **

**This is loosely based off a new song I found. **

**Unhappy ~ Thriving Ivory**

_**'Cause I understand, I could tell not everything's fine**_

_**It's never alright to push away, I'm not as blind as you may think,**_

_**And I'm tired of all that is,**_

_**And I know this time it's not all in my head**_

* * *

><p>"You look cold." A deep voice startled her from her thoughts. He looked up from the fire to her, her brown eyes widened a little. They sat in silence before let out her breath, shifting closer to the fire.<p>

"It's pretty close to winter." She replied, lips chapped from the wind and the dryness. He watched her as wetted them, skin shadowed from his place crouched a few feet from her. She rubbed her hands together, gloves worn and ripped. She moved them up her arms, rubbing her biceps in a weak attempt to warm herself. He moved closer, reaching out with thin fingers. She flinched, giving him another startled look. He kept his fingers just outside her privacy stape, letting her adjust to his closeness. When she did, he pushed a dark bang from her face.

"Hawke..." He wanted to say something, anything.

"I have a name." She murmured. It was his turn to flinch. He let his hand fully drop, and the quiet cloaked them oppressively.

"Marien." He finally spoke, unable to stand it any longer. "I'm...I'm sorry." He murmured sadly, voice raw and tender. She gave him a hiss of shock, looking from him to the fire.

"Don't apologize." She whispered. He blinked, looking at her in confusion. "I don't want that. I don't want it." She sounded angry and hurt, scowling at the fire. "I'm so sick of apologies and half-assed efforts. I'm so sick of it all!" She stood up, kicking dirt on the fire. It flickered, faded, but valiently faught on.

"Marien..."He stood up, too, at a loss. "What do you want from me?" He demanded. "I'm trying!"

"Try? Try! What for? What do _you_ want from me?" She snapped back, eyes hard and so far away. "Forgiveness? Why? Do you regret it? You did what you wanted. How do I matter in that?"

"You know why!" He shouted, eyes narrowed on her.

"I know what you told me." She spat back.

"I never lied to you! I told you those things in honesty!" She glared at him, fists clenched.

"Those things? You mean the 'I love you's, the 'I want to be together forever's, and the 'Please don't leave tonight's. Is that what you're sorry about? Is that why you're apologizing?" She demanded.

"No!" He shouted back. "No." He said calmer a moment later.

"Then why?" She looked brokenly up at him. "Are you leaving me?" She whispered. He winced, looking at her with a conflicted gaze.

"You still want me to stay?" He questioned quietly.

"Look at these hands." She had tears in her voice, but they did not show on her face. "I killed Anders with there hands. I destroyed a lifestyle, a city...an entire forsaken city! All with these hands!" She crumpled to her knees, shaking.

"You saved my life with them." He slowly knelt in front of her, covering her quivering hands with his own. "You have done so much good with these hands." He whispered to her, kissing the pale appendages. She looked up at him like she was really seeing him. "You've loved with these hands. Loved, lost, killed, saved, healed with them." He told her. She began to cry silently. "You've changed people with them."

"Are you going to leave me, Fenris?" She asked, voice choked with so many emotions.

"Do you want me to?" He replied back, lowing his eyes from her gaze. She was silent for a long time, just breathing slowly.

"Don't go." She whispered after what seemed like forever. "Don't leave me, Fenris." She begged quietly. He looked at her, her eyes wide and broken.

"I won't. I'll stay." He promised her. They didn't kiss of embrace, just sat side by side, staring at the fire, silent. When they woke up the next day, the sun shined and they relaxed in the morning breeze. They ignored the oppressive clouds over Kirkwall. For now, it could wait.


End file.
